A to Z Well-being (personal philosophy): Objectives

Objective (n) – something sought or aimed for; a target, goal, or aim.

            When I was in my 20’s, I had a major medical situation that totally blind-sided me.  I was in university, had just gotten married, was expecting our first child and had planned on joining the military full-time (a dream I had since a boy) once my education was complete.  The news of my medical condition destroyed any hope of pursuing that goal.  It also destroyed me psychologically.  Because I was so set on proving to everyone I could still do the job, I refused to acknowledge that dream was over.  And as I drew closer to my leaving the military, I became bitter and hurtfully angry.  That single-mindedness robbed me of seeing the opportunities that had availed themselves the 10 years previous.  My academic studies suffered, my relationship with my family was terrible, and I missed out on opportunities that had been there waiting for me to snap them up.  I failed to see that the objectives I had set for myself at the beginning of my 20’s were no longer achievable because the circumstances had changed.  I didn't take time to re-orient myself to the situation and was caught up in the flow.

Setting goals is the only way to ensure that we get what (or where) we want.  All too often we find ourselves going with the flow, waiting for “everything to work out”. Well, as the saying goes “Only dead fish go with the flow”.  By setting out goals for ourselves, we are able to set milestones for ourselves.  I don’t play for the end game from the beginning (anymore), but rather focus on gaining ground.  When trying to lose weight, most people fail because they want to start at a gym on Monday and be in that ‘little black dress’ Saturday night.  When they don’t see the results they were expecting, they quit feeling like a failure and fall back into the habits that caused them to want to change in the first place.

An objective can be short-term (within 12 months), mid-term (1-3 years) and long-term (5-10 years). Each of these, in turn, is broken into goals (or phases).Each phase is a step to complete your objective.  And, ideally, the long-term goals are supported by the mid-term goals, and the mid-term by the short term.

When I set my short term objectives I classify them Physical, Financial, and Psychological.
Last year, I set two objectives for each:

1) Physical:

i) Complete a half marathon;

ii) Get a Spartan Race Trifecta (complete one of each class of Spartan Race), and

                        iii) Take up a Martial Art or Combative

            2) Financial:

                        i) Increase my primary income source by at least $1500, and

                        ii) Complete the ’52 Week Money challenge’.

            3) Psychological:

                        i) Take time to meditate.

Did I achieve all my goals? Nope!  I failed, and I failed spectacularly.  I got both my half-marathon (it rained the entire time) and Spartan Race Trifecta, was half way through the Money Challenge when I had to tap that keg and did not increase my annual income (other than pre-negotiated increases), take up a martial art or meditate.  To put it another way, if all my objectives were weighted equally and life were a report card, I wouldn't even get an ‘F’.

I did gain something more insightful, even after failing to achieve all my objectives.  By setting these objectives, I was required to apply for more opportunities; and given the burdensome nature of my organizations hiring practices, I was still able to finish the year averaging one screening exam (or interview) 11 out of the last 12 weeks of the year. 

At the beginning of this year, I set objectives (some carried over, some new) that I aim to achieve.

Short-term is pretty easy – mostly finish what I started last year:

            1) Complete the ’52 Week Money Challenge';

            2) Take up a martial art;

            3) Take time to meditate;

            4) Try my hand at gardening, and

            5) Read, and really digest, the Bible

My mid-term goals are:

            1) Eliminate all consumer debt from my and my family’s life, and

            2) Teach my kids better money habits than I had as a young adult.

My long-term goals are still:

           1) Become free and clear of debt, and

           2) Be solvent enough to get an affordable mortgage and own my own house again.

If you set goals for yourself and never allow yourself waiver in your determination, you will succeed. And always remember:

“It’s okay to falter, but it is never okay to quit.”

What are your objectives?

A to Z Well-being (personal philosophy): Privation

Privation (n) - lack of comforts or necessities of life.

I need a new watch; the one that I need to replace has done its part.  It’s so old I remember that I drove to Costco in a K-car to buy it. After 15 or so years, it just isn't keeping time like it used to.  I think a sprocket has worn down and things are slipping inside.  I want a new $800 Swiss Army automatic watch; I'm a 40-something guy going places, I've earned this.

But who, in this day and age has $800 (+taxes) lying around?  I don’t.  There are two methods to pay for a watch like that: credit cards or find the cash.  I try not to use credit cards unless it is the only option (ex. renting cars, buying plane tickets, reserving hotel rooms, etc.. when I travel).  When I starting looking into how long it would take me to get this watch, I started looking on-line.  When I found the watch I wanted on-line, it cost half the retail price I saw in store.  Great!  Now I only need to find $400 (+taxes).  Buy today, ships tomorrow, perfect!  I still have the problem of where do I get the money.  I budget pretty tight (6%) for personal spending.  In addition to working on the ’52 week Money Challenge’, I'm paying for this watch out of my personal spending.  I have to decide where I want to spend my remaining finds. That means I have to find the money and that requires me depriving myself of something else; suffering a privation.

Privation is to go without the comforts or necessities of life.  But what are “comforts” or “necessities” of life: The latest model of 60” television?  Leasing cars every 2 years so you always appear affluent?  Choosing to eat out (or ordering in) because it’s easier than cooking?  The list goes on.  Too many people today believe they are entitled to everything they desire and it is available right now: just put on the credit card; buy now, pay letter; use our easy in-store credit plan, get a pay day loan; whatever you need to get it NOW.  There was a short period when I worked at a food bank; I would frequently see people come in to get help and then climb into a $60,000 truck.  There was no sense of control when it came to what they actually needed versus wanted.  You want to know who some of those people are look down the street on garbage day; they always have the largest pile at the curb, relative to their household size.  You can literally see who's trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Privation isn't necessarily a bad thing.  A healthy diet doesn't mean you have to do without all of the treats you like to eat; it means doing with less of it.  You want to lose weight?  You require a caloric deficit; eat less or exercise more.  How you achieve it is up to you, as long as you do it in a healthy manner.  Studies are even showing that intermittent fasting, either prolonged daily fasts (longer periods without eating but consuming the same amount of calories) or shorts periods of severely constrained caloric intake, may be beneficial for the body.  When it comes to intangibles like trips, self constraint can be even more rewarding.  My wife wants the two of us to go to Las Vegas for a trip.  I would like that too.  She’s gotten a chance to go with friends and I would like to see it as a couple.  What I don’t want is to have to spend the entire time leading up to the trip stressing about how we’re going to pay for the trip when we get back and having to watch pennies while we’re there.  I've been there before and it put me in the hospital for three days - NOT FUN!  So my challenge was this: we can go to Las Vegas when we can pay for it outright.  Side bar - We’re still working on that one.

Privation can also serve as a lesson in delayed gratification for your children.  I have three kids.  ‘Peanut’ is an absolute spendthrift; she makes sure she gets every penny owed and then has to turn around and spend it.  She bought herself a new IPod about a year ago.  She couldn't find it one day, she swore she looked everywhere for it; she thought someone at school had stolen her IPod and insisted she had to replace it.  So she spent everything in her bank account to get another one (6 months later, during spring cleaning, she found the first one behind her bed).  The second, ‘Pun’kin’, could care less if she has the newest something; her 3DS broke and she couldn't put game card in it; she didn't care, she still had games downloaded on it she could play.  When the control buttons finally broke then she decided it was time to look at getting a new 3DS.  The third, ‘Puddle’, is a mix of the other two, he could care less until he sees something he wants then he has to get it and all the accessories he can buy.

  Going old-school with an envelope with my goal written on it and progress after three weeks, including throwing in any spending money left in my pocket the day before payday.

                Ultimately, privation is about self –discipline; being willing yourself to go without one “necessity” while you work to acquire something you see a need for.  As for the old watch, it holds a lot of memories (I've been half-way around the world with it); maybe it can be saved, I’ll see if the worn part can be replaced. Maybe I won’t need that new $800 watch just yet after all.