Vaccinating your kids against Affluenza

Recently, my two children had the chance to take the ice on an NHL rink, as part of a learn-to-skate program through the local community centre.  It wasn't as big a do as it was built up to be but still pretty cool.  But in the excitement, my oldest had asked if she could go, too. The problem was my wife didn't think to investigate whether it was possible; she had her mind on other things, like a girls weekend away with one of her oldest friends.  she assumed the information  provided, from a consistently unreliable source, was accurate.

So, I was left trying to keep my teenager from losing her mind, this was all she had been talking about for weeks. I told her I would see if it was possible, but not to get her hopes up.  When we arrived, it was just program participants and coaches.  The "and family" portion of the invitation was to sit in the stands.  Into the stands we went, and to my surprise my teenager didn't say a thing; not one word.  If any of you have a teenager, you will appreciate the significance.  How do you reward and reinforce that attitude - the dealing with expectation, anticipating the opportunity to lace up, only to be disappointed?  Should I take her out for a Daddy-Daughter date?  Send her to the movies for a day by herself because she demonstrated a level of maturity I hadn't expected?

Simply - you don't.

Far too many parents, in my opinion, insist on giving their kids "more than we had".  That's a bullshit attitude and the source of the sense of entitlement so many youth have today.  Here's a cookie for  eating your supper; don't throw a tantrum in the store while Mommy is shopping and you get a toy.  Working behind the counter at McDonald's, delivering papers, or pump gas for the summer is beneath them, but want the "Jersey Shore" lifestyle.  Kids living in mom and dad's basement into their late 20's not knowing what they want to do with their lives because they haven't found themselves.  Here's an idea get a job, any job, you'll find out what you don't want to do for the rest of your life REAL QUICK.  "We" had plenty growing up and our parents tried to do the same for us.  Don't get me wrong, my parents helped me if they could, but for the most part I had to figure things out for myself.

My teenager gets paid to babysit (and she's in demand around the neighbourhood) and all my kids get an allowance, based on their age, are expected to do chores around the house because they contribute to the mess, and a "performance bonus" for getting A's on their report card.  Why?  To teach them to be responsible for earning their money, how to save for what they want, and to teach them that rewards and success come to those who work for it.

It's time we stop treating our kids like delicate china dolls, and start treating them like they're people.  Learning to deal with disappointment is part of growing up, handing them responsibility at a young age not only teaches them a work ethic, but also allows them to take pride on the work they do.  If you want your children to develop into strong, independent-thinking citizens, be a parent and start teaching them to be so.

Cheap like borscht.

Since I started down the path to be more self-reliant and self-sufficient, I have really come to understand the meaning of the phrase "Cheap like borscht" and the reality of it.
  
Growing up, borscht was one of those things that we had often enough in late summer and fall to be dreaded.  I didn't start to really appreciate the subtlety of it until I was in my late teens.  I didn't like beets and when Mom made cabbage, I only recalled it being boiled; a foul smell if ever there was one (or so I thought until I was changing diapers regularly).  While I was at university, I wouldn't say I was poor, but I ate some pretty rustic meals i.e. sauerkraut soup (which after my brother was done eating all the sausage out of, consisted of sauerkraut and boiled potatoes).  Fortunately, I almost never had to eat mac &cheese as a staple.  Ironically, I've only become a mac & cheese master since I had kids.

I really fell in love with Borscht when I went to Russia. It was a true Baltic winter when I arrived in January.  And nothing warmed so well as a bowl of borscht.

Borscht is a, truly, rustic meal - simple, versatile and international; versions of borscht stretch from China to Western Europe.  Growing up, when mom made borscht, it was simple - 5 ingredients - beets, cabbage, carrots, beef stock, sour cream; BOOM, done!  It is a true peasant's soup.  The key ingredients make for a food sources that will last through out the hard winters of the Steppes of Russia and Ukraine. Beets, carrots, cabbage and other root vegetables can be buried in mulch (have earth mounded up and covered with hay) to keep through the winter.  And it's full of vitamins and minerals essential to keeping healthy though a hard winter.
This is my take on the recipe, as I recall, from my mother's kitchen and how much it cost to make.

 

Recipe (to make a batch for me - I'm the only one that eats it right now)

Cabbage, green, white or red ($2.55, only used half for this batch)

4 Beets ($2.21)

1 Jumbo Carrot ($0.46)

1/2 Medium Onion (pantry)

1-3 cloves Garlic (pantry; I had minced on hand)

1-2 L Stock, beef, chicken or vegetable (pantry; if you have time, you can make bone broth)

8 oz Beef, diced (optional, I left it out because I didn't have any left-overs to throw in)

Sour Cream (fridge)

Dark Rye bread ($3.49, but I will only use about 1/3 to 1/2 of the loaf for this batch)

Salt and Pepper to taste.

Shred cabbage, beets and carrots. 

Chop onion, sauté with garlic.

Add vegetables, stock and meat.

Season as you wish (I like to add a teaspoon of dry mustard)

Stew until cabbage tender.

Serve with a dollop of sour cream and slice of rye bread.



Just make sure you wear gloves during prep.

I like to make it first thing in the morning and leave it on the stove on LOW to stew all day.  You can cook it faster, I just choose not to.
 

It made 6-8 servings and cost me, for this batch, $5.69 or $0.95 per large serving

Soup in a bag, anyone?



It's the perfect base to a variety of regional soups, add tomato paste, potatoes, beans, mushrooms; really anything available or your heart desires.  Because you can prepare your vegetables any way you like, you can change the feel: julienne for a more aristocratic look, chopped for more rustic; I prefer shredded, I like the way the colour of the beets and cabbage is released to make a deep wine-coloured soup.

And it freezes well, so you have no left overs going to waste in the back of the fridge.  Even better, now that I have some in the freezer I know when the forecast calls for cold and miserable weather tomorrow, I have something I can put in the fridge to thaw before I go to bed and all I have to do for supper, when I get home from work, is heat it up.




#borscht #rescipes

Helpless at Starbucks, or Exercising personal leadership and initiative

I am a Starbucks junkie.  If left to my own, I could go twice a day. If they had a hot beverage sized bigger than Venti, I would order that size; yeah, that kind of junkie. But it seems to me that at least once a week I find myself reaching for the milk only to find it empty.  And every time, I have to wonder how many other patrons have pick up that same empty pitcher only to sigh and go on their way, complaining about the milk pitcher being empty and having to go without milk in their beverage.

SURPRISINGLY, if you take an empty back to the counter, it comes back full.

But it doesn't end there; what is more striking is the fact that the philosophy in my workplace seems to be one of hand-wringing "Do as I say, not as I do."  I find it odd considering all the managers in my workplace are supposed to be the innovators and initiators of great visionary changes to how we conduct business.  Nobody wants to be the one to make a decision, regardless of the timeline or the outcome from inaction.  You see, I work for a government agency; for which I receive no recognition other than a pay cheque.  Being a bottom-of-the totem pole cubicle dweller, I can literally do the bare minimum and still get payed.  I am not required or even expected to go beyond the expectations of my work description, in fact in some areas initiative is not desired.  But I do exercise initiative and personal leadership; not because it's required by my work, but because I require it.  It's a demand I place on myself and shoulder the consequences with a grin.  Never was this demonstrated more to me than this week.  

In my workplace we have a communal kitchenette and every month one section has to do a weekly clean-up.  February is ours.  Everything was scheduled and everyone in our organization was informed by email.

When we showed up for clean-up, people were still eating lunch and hanging out; immediately, anyone who didn't want to do the task in the first place left. 

"We'll comeback when everyone is done." 

"There's no point in cleaning up, the sink is just going to get dirty again when people wash their dishes." 

Etc,etc, etc.  

I stayed. I don't want to clean the kitchen either, but it has to be done; and whether I do it now or come back later, I have to do clean up. But because I demonstrated 'personal leadership', a few of the co-workers who were hesitant came back in and helped me; other co-workers stood around waiting for everyone to be done eating and clear out of the kitchenette; and the managers were no where to be found. "Do as I say, not as I do".

Contrary to what has developed in corporate culture, leadership is not taking credit for others work or initiative and blaming your staff when things go wrong; punishing the productive with more work and the ineffectual with less. Leadership is rewarding the productive with more responsibility and making the less effective more accountable; assuming the mantle of responsibility for failures and eschewing credit, in order to recognize those who did the work.

But what does this have to do with anything?  To my mind, it seems to represent a bigger problem in society - lack of initiative and personal leadership.  The lack of 'personal leadership' is different than lack of 'leadership'. Leadership is the art of motivating people to want to fulfill your objectives; personal leadership is motivating yourself (and others through your actions) to fulfill other peoples objectives when you gain nothing from doing so.

You may never be in a position to be in charge but you will always have an opportunity to lead.

And remember, a small act can initiate great action, even if it is just getting the milk jug filled for the next guy!

A to Z Well-being (personal philosophy): Time

Time (n) – The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in

       the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

           Time and money are the two things everyone wants more of. The distribution of wealth will never be equal, but time is the one commodity that everyone has the same daily allotment of, and probably the most squandered resource of all and how we use it is up to us.  While catching up on posts on “The Art of Manliness” (a blog, as a reader, I strongly recommend to men, young and young at heart), I recently read a pamphlet from 1910 called "How to Live on 24 Hours a Day".  I think it's a stretch to call it a philosophical text, but it will certainly give you pause to think about how you use your time away from the house, and upon your return.  

            Take my case: I’m to bed between 10 and 10:30 pm; awake at 5:30 am and spend the next 60 to 90 minutes in my morning routine (exercise, bathing, dressing eating, etc,) to be at work 8-4, commuting 45 minutes each way, sometimes wait for my wife to catch up (about 15 mins after work) and head home for the evening.  My wife and I used to drive to work every day.  It used to be our time to talk about nothing at all.  At the end of my day, I would take the reverse route, getting ramped up because I was trapped in rush hour traffic, coming and going.  If my wife got held up when I came to pick her up, I would get wound up even more.  The worst part was paying $80 a month to leave my car parked outside 40 hours a week (I could have done that without leaving my own driveway), discounting the extra cost of gas and maintenance.  

            We've changed the way we do things.  Today, I still spend about 45 minutes going to and from work each day. Now it’s on the bus.  It gives me time to think on various topics, or spend time strengthening relationships with my neighbours on the same commute and, more importantly, it gives me time to separate work from home life; either gear up for the work day or decompress.  Things have improved dramatically.  Now, I get home, free of stress and able to spend time with my kids before supper, help them with their language studies or school projects and am at the table for supper ready to discuss their day.  That 45 minutes, each way, is the equivalent of a gained day during my work week from using ‘wasted time’.  I found it has even caused the time the television is turned on to be pushed back later in the evening, and often, only to get the full media coverage of something I saw on social media.  I'm spending more time researching, thinking and ruminating topics I want to be clearer on.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a time and place when you need to plug in and stop thinking for a short period of time.  For me, it’s like those Magic Eye pictures; when I remove my focus on a problem, the solution reveals itself.   Whatever works for you, the key is to not allow it to become distraction; set a time limit and stick to it. Sometimes, all it takes is doing a mindless chore, like shovelling snow or washing supper dishes  

          I now take every opportunity, when there is a lull at work or home to study something.  Whether studying methods of improving work processes, working on courses required by my employer, or even following, and further researching, a topic of interest, in print or digital.  I used to listen to music or the radio, now it seems I always have a podcast playing, of whatever topic I happen to find interesting at the time.  And I am amazed how often other people around the office start work-related conversation then wander off topic and start socializing; only to complain about being short on time to get projects completed.  I admit I'm no saint when it comes to social conversation around the office, but I could pack a weeks’ worth of my socializing into the time some people spend socializing daily.

            I even had a friend tell me the best advice he ever got about time management as a university student – treat it like a job; show up at 8 and work until 4, regardless of the classes scheduled.  Wish I had had someone tell me that when I was a student 20 years ago.

            The opposite is also true.  In my job, work ebbs and flows.  At year end, there is barely enough for one person to keep active, let alone busy.  At the height of our production, however, there is almost too much for two people to handle.  Breaks are scheduled for a reason; to allow you the time to regroup and refresh - take them!  They will help you keep your work stress at a manageable level and able to leave it behind at the end of the day, so you can enjoy your time with your family.

           Complaining about petty things because you have nothing to occupy your mind is a thief of time and effort.  Make use of your 'wasted time' (commuting, standing in line, or waiting on some task), to maximize your life: think on things; listen to a podcast you've downloaded; practice a skill in order to get your next promotion, prepare an application to a job you desire. Develop temporal leverage.  Separate the stress of one aspect of your life from another; it will make it easier to deal with in small pieces.  Filling the voids in your schedule is like filling potholes in the road; it makes it a whole lot easier to get where you want.

How will you spend your time today?

Impact of Cheap Oil, a lower Bank of Canada interest rate, and how it can help you.

Caveat: I am not, nor do I have any experience as, an economist or financial adviser.  This is just my view on the topic.

          Since June 2014, the average price of gas in Canada has dropped $0.50/litre.  50 cents!  I'm not that old and I can't readily recall the last time it was that low.  If you look at the attached link ( 24 month Canadian gas price ), you can see that the price of gas has paralleled the drop in oil prices.  If you heard the recent announcement from the General Secretary of OPEC, the reason for the drop in the price of gas is the fault of the United States of America and its pursuit of shale oil.  The US energy policy, in my opinion, is driven by defence strategy; I've heard the the US Navy estimates it alone uses 1,000,000 barrels a day.  The realpolitik of weak oil prices means nations, like Canada and Russia, that depend on oil revenue as part of its budget calculations did not foresee this stall.  And that will affect their budget forecasts.  But this isn't about how cheap oil is affecting the bottom line of the nation-state.  It's how the nation-states' bottom line will affect you.

          From an economic standpoint for the man on the street, the cascade effect is going to be bigger than most people think.  All we have to do is look at how oil producers function; they are businesses after all.  When oil prices drop below a profitable margin, the less productive oil wells are capped first, laying off those crews.  That loss of revenue not only affects the individual employees, their families, their communities, the communities the work sites are located in and their debtors (read banks they have borrowed from to buy cars and houses).  That means loss not only loss tax revenue from oil sales, but loss of personal tax revenue and extra funding put out for social support systems.  The reality of cheap oil and its fiscal impact upon nation-states and people is like a rogue wave when sailing, there is only one way to face it and that's head on.  

          It used to cost me around $90 to fill my tank from empty; and because we drove to the nearest park and ride, in addition to running kids to activities 4-5 times per week, we were filling up every 7-10 days.  That's anywhere from $270 to $360 a month in gas alone, plus I was still paying for two adult bus passes (an additional $200 per month).  That was half a pay cheque just on transportation. Now with gas around $0.85/litre, it only costs about $55-$60 a fill, automatic gain $30 every week or so; that's like me not paying  my kids their allowance every week.  My household income isn't tied to the oil industry at all.  So for me, right now, low oil is a good thing; but that doesn't mean I can sit back and live the good life on all this 'extra' money.

          There's no such thing as spare change or 'extra' money in the budget, there's just creating room to save or paying off debt.  An article from CBC about yesterday’s Bank of Canada announcement regarding interest rates made it pretty clear on how we, as consumers are going to be affected.  Basically, no relief for consumer debt.  But that doesn't mean we aren't afforded an opportunity to create leverage for ourselves. By taking the excess from your transportation (read fuel) expenses and, hopefully, lower prices on store shelves, we have more cash to service our consumer debt, i.e. extra payments against credit cards, lines of credit, or even bills that are in arrears.  It is NOT the time to take on more debt because of lower prime-rate rates.  And with a lower Bank of Canada rate comes lower interest rates on savings account.  

          Think about it where are you going to have more gain with $100 a month?  Put it in a savings acct with, what, 0.75% annual return?  (Right now, it's actually 0.000%.)  Or against $10,000 outstanding on a credit card with a 20% annual interest rate?  For easy math, we won't use compound interest.  

So for your savings account,  that's roughly $0.75 per year for every $100 deposited (or $9 in interest).  

Or put it against your credit card (we'll assume you are paying the minimum), $10, 000 last year cost you $2,000 in interest (pretty much your entire budget for paying that credit card). This year, $10, 000 - an extra $100/ month means you end the year with only $8,800 in outstanding principle, or 12% less; that means you're minimum payments are 12% lower too. 

          Even if prices for everything else goes up and that $100 gets used by other expenses, you still had $2000 dollars budgeted to pay the interest on your credit card; but because the annual interest is now only $1760, you have now budgeted $240 to put against the principle (remember the no such thing as 'extra' money), all because you leveraged the lower prices of gas and necessaries.

          I can only use my experience and observations to demonstrate the principle of my argument.  Another change we made that has helped - changing the way we commute; we now catch the bus at the stop at the end of our block.  I have driven my car to the transit way twice since returning from Christmas vacation, that's right - TWICE!  The last time I bought gas before I filled uplast Thursday was on Jan 2nd.  Nearly three weeks on one tank of gas.  Now, this situation is unique to me because I live in a city and am close to public transit terminals and stops.  I realise some of you may not live close enough to take such advantage but there is still opportunity to create  leverage for yourself without getting a second job or selling things off.   Add to that the fact we should be able to expect lower costs for necessaries on the store shelves (hopefully), we are provided with extra cash to attack our debt.

          If I can go from filling my gas tank, at $90, every ten days to filling it every 21 that means I'm going from 37 fills (roughly $3,300 a year) to 17 (roughly $1,550), it's like I got $150 a month pay raise; and all I did was maximize the use of my bus pass, which I was paying for anyway.  And that doesn't even take into account the lower gas prices.  Last Thursday, I didn't even pay $55 to fill up and my fuel gauge was flat-lined. 

Make hay while the sun shines.

          Changes in the economy don't always turn in our favour, and never last as long as we would like.  Take advantage of them immediately.  Market changes like this allow you to apply leverage against your debt which, while not sexy, in the end means a less stressful life with more financial freedom.  

And that's an advantage everyone could use.

Thoughts on Self-sufficiency

Self-sufficiency is getting a lot of play these days, in the news, on prime time programming, and clearly ensconced in the YouTube psyche.  It has brought out every armchair fantasy survivalist, prepping guru, sheepdog, conspiracy theorist, etc., etc., etc.  Don't get me wrong, I see a lot of great ideas, innovative view points and discussions; and equal balance of bad ones.  It's not about spending all your money and then leveraging all your credit to buy more to prepare for some perceived threat to you or the world (read pandemic, asteroid impact, zombie apocalypse, etc). That's just counter-intuitive.

The reality is self-sufficiency is about being able to support yourself and your own.  Not being dependent, or minimizing dependence, upon any support infrastructure.  It's about being at war with debt, dependence, and excess.  It's about developing resilience.  In a winter storm could you heat your house or even one room, if the heat went off?  Do you remember what you did for water the last time a water main broke in your neighbourhood?  Could you cook a hot meal, safely in your house, if the electricity is out?  Could you do it outside in the winter?  A problem with today's North American society is that too many people have gotten accustomed to being supported from cradle to grave.  The ease of access to infrastructure, like electricity, water and even heat, have caused almost every one to lose the ability to survive these upsets to our modern lifestyle, let alone be able to thrive without them.

In my life, I have used three social support mechanisms: student loans, income insurance, and been a client of a food bank.Student loans I have no regrets about using; it was there and I paid it back, in full, with interest in under 5 years.  I had to use income insurance; I'm not proud to say, because I always assumed I was the best applicant in my field, because I was asked to apply, and never looked for lateral options.  It was kind of a wasted effort because I never got more than three payments before I was working again, and I was always working part-time while I was receiving it.  The turn around was at my absolute worst, I had to go to a food bank to feed my family, once, and I was working two jobs.  It was the last time I ever let myself get to that point economically again.  I now work ardently to become self-sufficient every day.

I think the resources produced for the public and service men during the First and Second World Wars are great resources.

1) I work to develop/improve other traditional skills (carpentry, wiring,

basic gardening, so on);
2) I now can and look to put away extra food;
3) I work hard at getting out from under my debts, and save

bit by bit to move up in the world, and
4) I teach my children to not depend on other than themselves

when it comes to money and to get into the habit of saving.  In fact, my children only get to spend 40% of their allowance; the other 60% goes into saving, sharing (tithe), and planned spending (preparing for the idea of future financial obligations - utilities, rent, food, etc. - when they're older).  Anything extra they earn doing other jobs is bonus.

Don't get me wrong.  I believe there is a social contract between a nation and its citizenry.  The availability of social programs is what provides security in times of uncertainty, if applied prudently.  Socialized health should be available to all citizens, period.  Dental care and subsidized eye exams for children under 18 years?  Absolutely!  Should people be ashamed to use the food bank in times of need?  No, they shouldn't.  But when people make a living on the dole, and raise their kids to do the same, I start to get upset.  Social programs are not there to allow you to sit on your ass and complain about being overweight and underfed.  And it is time that the majority of working citizens make our leaders know we will not accept this abuse of our safety nets.

I know it's hard to not use credit cards when your pinched financially, I've been earning a good wage going on 4 years since I returned to work and I'm still feeling the squeeze.  Examine what you can do to reduce your financial output.  Can you raise some vegetables in your yard, on your balcony, or window sill?  Do you know how to build a solar furnace or water heater?  Can you mend or alter clothing to get one more turn out of them? Search 'Make Do and Mend' and 'Victory Gardens', inquire at the local archives and libraries for World War I and II pamphlets on rationing and you'll find a wealth of ideas to start your journey on to self-sufficiency.

In a healthy body, a healthy mind; and in the health of a nation, its wealth.

What are some things you’re doing to become more self-sufficient?

A to Z Well-being (personal philosophy): Objectives

Objective (n) – something sought or aimed for; a target, goal, or aim.

            When I was in my 20’s, I had a major medical situation that totally blind-sided me.  I was in university, had just gotten married, was expecting our first child and had planned on joining the military full-time (a dream I had since a boy) once my education was complete.  The news of my medical condition destroyed any hope of pursuing that goal.  It also destroyed me psychologically.  Because I was so set on proving to everyone I could still do the job, I refused to acknowledge that dream was over.  And as I drew closer to my leaving the military, I became bitter and hurtfully angry.  That single-mindedness robbed me of seeing the opportunities that had availed themselves the 10 years previous.  My academic studies suffered, my relationship with my family was terrible, and I missed out on opportunities that had been there waiting for me to snap them up.  I failed to see that the objectives I had set for myself at the beginning of my 20’s were no longer achievable because the circumstances had changed.  I didn't take time to re-orient myself to the situation and was caught up in the flow.

Setting goals is the only way to ensure that we get what (or where) we want.  All too often we find ourselves going with the flow, waiting for “everything to work out”. Well, as the saying goes “Only dead fish go with the flow”.  By setting out goals for ourselves, we are able to set milestones for ourselves.  I don’t play for the end game from the beginning (anymore), but rather focus on gaining ground.  When trying to lose weight, most people fail because they want to start at a gym on Monday and be in that ‘little black dress’ Saturday night.  When they don’t see the results they were expecting, they quit feeling like a failure and fall back into the habits that caused them to want to change in the first place.

An objective can be short-term (within 12 months), mid-term (1-3 years) and long-term (5-10 years). Each of these, in turn, is broken into goals (or phases).Each phase is a step to complete your objective.  And, ideally, the long-term goals are supported by the mid-term goals, and the mid-term by the short term.

When I set my short term objectives I classify them Physical, Financial, and Psychological.
Last year, I set two objectives for each:

1) Physical:

i) Complete a half marathon;

ii) Get a Spartan Race Trifecta (complete one of each class of Spartan Race), and

                        iii) Take up a Martial Art or Combative

            2) Financial:

                        i) Increase my primary income source by at least $1500, and

                        ii) Complete the ’52 Week Money challenge’.

            3) Psychological:

                        i) Take time to meditate.

Did I achieve all my goals? Nope!  I failed, and I failed spectacularly.  I got both my half-marathon (it rained the entire time) and Spartan Race Trifecta, was half way through the Money Challenge when I had to tap that keg and did not increase my annual income (other than pre-negotiated increases), take up a martial art or meditate.  To put it another way, if all my objectives were weighted equally and life were a report card, I wouldn't even get an ‘F’.

I did gain something more insightful, even after failing to achieve all my objectives.  By setting these objectives, I was required to apply for more opportunities; and given the burdensome nature of my organizations hiring practices, I was still able to finish the year averaging one screening exam (or interview) 11 out of the last 12 weeks of the year. 

At the beginning of this year, I set objectives (some carried over, some new) that I aim to achieve.

Short-term is pretty easy – mostly finish what I started last year:

            1) Complete the ’52 Week Money Challenge';

            2) Take up a martial art;

            3) Take time to meditate;

            4) Try my hand at gardening, and

            5) Read, and really digest, the Bible

My mid-term goals are:

            1) Eliminate all consumer debt from my and my family’s life, and

            2) Teach my kids better money habits than I had as a young adult.

My long-term goals are still:

           1) Become free and clear of debt, and

           2) Be solvent enough to get an affordable mortgage and own my own house again.

If you set goals for yourself and never allow yourself waiver in your determination, you will succeed. And always remember:

“It’s okay to falter, but it is never okay to quit.”

What are your objectives?

A to Z Well-being (personal philosophy): Privation

Privation (n) - lack of comforts or necessities of life.

I need a new watch; the one that I need to replace has done its part.  It’s so old I remember that I drove to Costco in a K-car to buy it. After 15 or so years, it just isn't keeping time like it used to.  I think a sprocket has worn down and things are slipping inside.  I want a new $800 Swiss Army automatic watch; I'm a 40-something guy going places, I've earned this.

But who, in this day and age has $800 (+taxes) lying around?  I don’t.  There are two methods to pay for a watch like that: credit cards or find the cash.  I try not to use credit cards unless it is the only option (ex. renting cars, buying plane tickets, reserving hotel rooms, etc.. when I travel).  When I starting looking into how long it would take me to get this watch, I started looking on-line.  When I found the watch I wanted on-line, it cost half the retail price I saw in store.  Great!  Now I only need to find $400 (+taxes).  Buy today, ships tomorrow, perfect!  I still have the problem of where do I get the money.  I budget pretty tight (6%) for personal spending.  In addition to working on the ’52 week Money Challenge’, I'm paying for this watch out of my personal spending.  I have to decide where I want to spend my remaining finds. That means I have to find the money and that requires me depriving myself of something else; suffering a privation.

Privation is to go without the comforts or necessities of life.  But what are “comforts” or “necessities” of life: The latest model of 60” television?  Leasing cars every 2 years so you always appear affluent?  Choosing to eat out (or ordering in) because it’s easier than cooking?  The list goes on.  Too many people today believe they are entitled to everything they desire and it is available right now: just put on the credit card; buy now, pay letter; use our easy in-store credit plan, get a pay day loan; whatever you need to get it NOW.  There was a short period when I worked at a food bank; I would frequently see people come in to get help and then climb into a $60,000 truck.  There was no sense of control when it came to what they actually needed versus wanted.  You want to know who some of those people are look down the street on garbage day; they always have the largest pile at the curb, relative to their household size.  You can literally see who's trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Privation isn't necessarily a bad thing.  A healthy diet doesn't mean you have to do without all of the treats you like to eat; it means doing with less of it.  You want to lose weight?  You require a caloric deficit; eat less or exercise more.  How you achieve it is up to you, as long as you do it in a healthy manner.  Studies are even showing that intermittent fasting, either prolonged daily fasts (longer periods without eating but consuming the same amount of calories) or shorts periods of severely constrained caloric intake, may be beneficial for the body.  When it comes to intangibles like trips, self constraint can be even more rewarding.  My wife wants the two of us to go to Las Vegas for a trip.  I would like that too.  She’s gotten a chance to go with friends and I would like to see it as a couple.  What I don’t want is to have to spend the entire time leading up to the trip stressing about how we’re going to pay for the trip when we get back and having to watch pennies while we’re there.  I've been there before and it put me in the hospital for three days - NOT FUN!  So my challenge was this: we can go to Las Vegas when we can pay for it outright.  Side bar - We’re still working on that one.

Privation can also serve as a lesson in delayed gratification for your children.  I have three kids.  ‘Peanut’ is an absolute spendthrift; she makes sure she gets every penny owed and then has to turn around and spend it.  She bought herself a new IPod about a year ago.  She couldn't find it one day, she swore she looked everywhere for it; she thought someone at school had stolen her IPod and insisted she had to replace it.  So she spent everything in her bank account to get another one (6 months later, during spring cleaning, she found the first one behind her bed).  The second, ‘Pun’kin’, could care less if she has the newest something; her 3DS broke and she couldn't put game card in it; she didn't care, she still had games downloaded on it she could play.  When the control buttons finally broke then she decided it was time to look at getting a new 3DS.  The third, ‘Puddle’, is a mix of the other two, he could care less until he sees something he wants then he has to get it and all the accessories he can buy.

  Going old-school with an envelope with my goal written on it and progress after three weeks, including throwing in any spending money left in my pocket the day before payday.

                Ultimately, privation is about self –discipline; being willing yourself to go without one “necessity” while you work to acquire something you see a need for.  As for the old watch, it holds a lot of memories (I've been half-way around the world with it); maybe it can be saved, I’ll see if the worn part can be replaced. Maybe I won’t need that new $800 watch just yet after all.

Guilt

Guilt is a powerful emotion, it can drive us to feel responsible for something we are not; it can haunt us when we did something wrong, and we knew it was so while we did it. People will use it against our personal nature to transfer their guilt onto us when they haven't done their job, or assumed their responsibility.  I have guilt about my time in uniform, should have done more while I could; and there are days that I hate every day I'm no longer in uniform.  But mostly, I feel guilty because I can't help my friends because I didn't go out with them and experience the things they did, and I'm not in proximity to them now.

I have a friend who has gone through a bad spot the last couple of weeks.  We were soldiers together, but he's a veteran.  By friend, I don't mean some guy I talk to everyday at work and office socials; I mean kids grew up next door, weekly suppers, worked with, best man at my wedding sort of friend.  I found out how bad things were going for him when his wife came out on work.  I felt I should call, but didn't know how start the conversation.  I should be able to, we're like brothers; closer in some cases.  Then the Facebook post thanking everyone for the help, they knew who they were.  I knew this wasn't directed at me, he hadn't asked for my help. When I had reached out, he hadn't responded.  I thought we were close.

Then I had a dream, so lucid and real it could have been real life.  I was walking through a dead forest when I came across my friend and we started talking; in the course of the conversation, I asked my friend why he didn't ask for my help, we're close as brothers.  He said to me "I don't need your help".  When I woke up, I was in fits; we've seen each other through marriages and divorce, kids growing up, houses falling apart, and talking over the fence.  

I got to talk to my friend last night, and in the course of our conversation, it dawned on me; it wasn't he didn't need help, it was "I don't need YOUR help" because I didn't have any help to offer.  I had no exposure to what had caused or revealed his problem, I could offer no solace.  I'm glad he had access to other vets to help and the strength to ask.  As for me, dreams and introspection can do wonders for our well-being.  I also realized guilt doesn't have to be a millstone around your neck, keeping you from everything you deserve to attain.

Sidebar - Veterans are everywhere in our society these days - boardrooms to lecture halls, school yards to brick yards, cops on the street to 'mommy and me' groups.  We don't offer them enough credit for what they've done because we have now idea what they've experienced.  Veterans shouldn't just be remembered on Veterans Day, Memorial Day, or Remembrance Day, but everyday.

I don’t care if this gets shares, comments, or follows.  Thank a vet every opportunity you have.

HPG, Thank you.

Life Lesson - The right attitude about work.

            I don’t choose to work, I have to work.  But I did choose the job I currently have, and every other job I have ever had.  Complaining about your job is like complaining that your hair is too curly after getting a perm, YOU CHOSE THIS.  Your attitude about your job is what makes the difference.  Everyone has that guy at work that is always complaining about their lot in life; maybe it’s you.  Having a good attitude at work will do wonders for your well being, performance, and how you are viewed by your co-workers.  When we maintain a positive attitude through out the day, it not only improves your work day it improves the work day of your co-workers.

            An easy fix is probably the oldest.  You should arrive at work everyday with a smile and whistling a tune; even if you don’t want to be there.  Coming into work when you’re sick is completely different.  You should leave work, at the end of the day, with the same attitude looking forward to the next work day.  It will make being stuck in the office easier, psychologically, and it will leave everyone else wanting to know what your deal is.

Is Courtesy dead?

            Last week, a funeral cortege passed me by.  It wasn't very long, maybe a dozen cars total, including the hearse.  As I was standing there, several cars coming out of a freeway exit were blocked and had to wait.  I could have walked on, after all, I didn't know the deceased; but I decided to stop and be respectful, removing my tuque.  As I stood there, drivers of the waiting cars forced their way through the cortege to get into clear lanes on the other side.  What kind of thinking makes a person act that way?

            I notice this often at the end of the day when everyone is just trying to get home.  I don't know if it's cultural or generational.  I call it Chinese Thinking, named after what a friend told me about his experiences as an English teacher in Taiwan.  My editor-in-wife calls Linear Thinking; you can only get from A to C through B.  I've started to notice it more and more frequently on the street here.

I see it all the time at the bus stop.

I sum it up as such:

            1) I want to go home; 
            2) I need to get on the bus; 
            3) The bus is here and the doors are open;

            4) I'll force my way onto the bus, regardless of the number of people trying to               get off at the same time.”

Here's a thought: LET EVERYONE OFF THE BUS FIRST!  An extra 30 seconds will make things easier for everybody.

            I am disheartened when I see people act like this on public transit; not giving up their seats to people who have greater need; trying to force their way onto the bus as passengers are getting off, and not taking their backpacks off, hitting others in the head every time they turn around.  I honestly think we've reached the point where society is primarily drones, plugged in and spoon-fed, rather than thinking about how we act and affect the world around us.

“As we are, so we do; and as we do, so is it done to us; we are the builders of our fortune.”

                                                                           Ralph Waldo Emerson

A to Z Well-being (personal philosophy): Saving

Saving (n) – anything that is saved

            When we talk about saving, the first thing people go to is money in the bank.  Well, it’s the beginning of a new year and resolutions are being made left, right and centre.  This all leads up to the ’52 Week Money Challenge’. Everybody who has a Facebook account has already posted, or had a friend post, this for them to see.  I can’t take credit for it and if you do a Google search for it, you get (at the time of this) 87 Million hits; MILLION - with a capital ‘M’.  The concept is pretty simple: Save $1 dollar a week, adding an additional $1 every week that passes i.e. $1 on January 1^st, $2 on January 8^th,…$52 on December 24^th (you can check the math).  Here’s a link to a chart from 1000directions.com (http://i2.wp.com/www.100directions.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/52-week-challenge-savings-chart-jen-goode-printable.jpg?resize=550%2C550), if you want to see it.  Or you can be a rebel and reverse the chart order (also someone else's idea). Start with $52 on January 1^st and finish with $1 on Christmas Eve.  The result is the same $1378 at the end of the 52^nd week. But what is the flaw in the plan?  It’s not the math, that’s rock solid.

            The problem is the timing. Now I realize that this is supposed to be a “New Years Resolution”, but it’s still a bad time of the year to start or end this type of undertaking.  In today’s consumer-driven society, most people will fail because they can’t afford to either put up the last $202 dollars because they’re buying gifts, have travel plans, or something unexpected has come up. Or they can’t do the plan in reverse because they have pay for travel, gifts or unforeseen emergencies.  Either way, trying to start this challenge in January or finish it in December can be a real kick in the teeth using either of these methods.  Is there a better way to do this that will improve your odds of succeeding?  I think so and it’s so simple, if you haven’t seen it yet, you may just face-palm yourself.

            START EARLIER IN THE YEAR!  Regardless of when you start the ‘52 Week Money Challenge’, you still accumulate the same amount of money: $1378.  Starting December 1^st or even November 1^st means you finish earlier in the year.  What should really blow your mind is what happens when you open the jar after your 52^nd week.  You've saved almost $1400 and done it in time for the holidays! Imagine having that much money set aside to buy your family gifts or help offset the cost of travel; all because you adjusted the timetable.  And if you double up in the first couple of weeks when it’s easiest, you achieve you objective all the sooner or have more set aside at the end.